Posted by DaisyM on April 14, 2004, at 19:58:43
In reply to Re: How Do I stand it...Again? » DaisyM, posted by noa on April 13, 2004, at 14:30:14
Thanks again to all of you for all the kind words and support. I answered you all individually in my head and heart.
Things are not better today but not too much worse. We are managing the breathing stuff at home still, though I must say it is making me very nervous. There is nothing to be done about the eye until the lungs get better so we will just have to wait.
I called my Therapist this morning to tell him why I couldn't come today. He pretty much pitched a fit...reminded me of how fragile I had been recently and told me I needed to take care of myself and make time for me (sounds like you guys)and also said that therapy was not a self-indulgent luxury, that he thought it was a necessity for me right now. Then he added, in his most gentle voice, that he was worried about me and knew if he didn't insist on a face-to-face visit, I would allow my husband's illness to swallow me up again. So, we both juggled our schedules so I could come in later and he let me keep the cell phone on in case of an emergency.
We spent the session talking about how hard it was for me to "take in" support. And he told me how important it is for me not to deny what I'm feeling and not discount how hard it is to not be able to fix this. He also wondered if my fears of abandonment weren't being triggered, because even if he couldn't help it, if (when) my husband dies, he will essentially have left me. So we talked about anger and the guilt that inevitable follows.
It was a good session, he did a lot of talking, and reminded me about a million times that he is MY Therapist so he was interested in how *I* was doing...and he said if it seemed like he was putting me before my hubby -- he was, because he knew I wouldn't! :) He also (gently) insisted on keeping tomorrow's session too. Secretly, (don't tell anyone!) I'm really glad.
So, thanks to again to all of you who advised using my Therapist. I'm glad I posted here and I'm glad I kept my session. It is nice to have you guys to lean on.
poster:DaisyM
thread:335990
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040414/msgs/336456.html