Posted by greywolf on April 1, 2004, at 13:20:14
In reply to My boy is in love..er I mean like...., posted by kid47 on April 1, 2004, at 10:23:36
Kid:
I hate to be the one to splash cold water on such a pleasant discussion, but I'd be a little careful about how I approached this one. Too much attention from dad on a potentially embarrassing subject and he could develop a level of discomfort with the subject that might prevent him from coming to you when it really counts (I've seen it happen with my younger brother). Pay too little attention and you may not be able to stop him from growing up too fast, too soon. Nice choice, huh?
I have sons in the 3rd and 5th grades, and my girlfriend has a son in 3rd also. The 5th grader's so oriented on scholastics and lacrosse, he won't realize girls exist until high school. My 3rd grader is one of those striking kids that girls already flock to (whether their 8 or 80), and I have to admit to a bit of envy given that he clearly didn't get his looks from me--especially when some attractive woman fawns over him and abandons dear old dad.;) Fortunately, he's found a lot of other ways of getting into trouble, so girls appear to be way down on the list.
My gf's son, however, is a different matter. I don't know if it stems from being an only child of a single mom who was very open about her dating life, but he has a high degree of interest in the opposite sex. To the point where it's clearly at the front of his mind some days, and he makes it a point to talk about his "girlfriend". It's all harmless kid's stuff at this point, but I have expressed a concern that he may be trying to emulate what he's seen in adults. If that's the case, he's taking it more seriously than other kids his age, and that can lead into some issues you'd like to avoid until he's mature enough to handle them. With all the information out there about youthful sexuality, I don't want to be that parent who's expressing surprise that his 12 or 13 yr old is already experimenting with the opposite sex. Not that it can necessarily be avoided, but drawing from my own personal experience, an accelerated interest in girls can distract from development in other areas.
I would just let it play out and keep an eye out for signs he might be taking things a little too seriously. Having a little fun with the issue at his expense if things are a little too much for your taste is a good way of getting your point across, but both my brother and I remember when mom and dad good naturedly crossed the line and embarrassed us in ways they never appreciated.
It's fun being a parent, isn't it?
poster:greywolf
thread:331255
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040331/msgs/331333.html