Posted by spoc on March 30, 2004, at 1:13:42
In reply to I'm young and stupid, posted by Karen_kay on March 29, 2004, at 18:38:08
Karen, I know that kind of nauseating guilt wave you're talking about. I get it when I see lonely elderly people who are hunched over or otherwise having a hard time getting around, and it rips my heart out of my chest...
Do you live in a big city now? I moved to the heart of one several years ago, where most people do tons of walking to get around. I never would have expected it, but after day in - day out, year in - year out of hardly being able to walk a block without money being solicited, I did pretty much get used to it. When it comes to panhandlers it's hard to feel good about giving to one person and then passing (and bypassing) several more within a few minutes. And I don't mean to generalize but I do see so many regulars -- with ruses well known to locals -- out there too. It does make you wonder more, enough so to prefer charity organizations. We're not helping anyone if in reality we just gave them cash for the very last thing they should be buying. I don't think we *can* assess that trust is generally warranted. It's probably not realistic to believe that it is in the majority of panhandling cases. And at least around here, I believe there is always someplace the homeless can get something to eat or a place to sleep.
At this point I feel better giving through somewhat more organized means, so that "Help the homeless" is less likely to mean "Help me, for the moment." There is also a local newspaper dedicated to the larger cause that the homeless can sell, although I don't know if there are still enough willing buyers. You know, several years ago there was going to be a program launched where stores would sell vouchers in any increment that people could buy to give out, which could be redeemed only for food and necessities. It was also theorized that many of those who didn't really intend to obtain food and necessities would reveal themselves by getting irritated or refusing it when a voucher was offered instead of cash. I don't know what happened to that program, maybe it had "loopholes." Too bad, I had looked forward to handling things that way when asked for help ... But I may be missing something here and if so, I apologize if this offends anyone.
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> and i've been bothered by the fact that since I was in Cali I didn't give money to the homeless. ANd it's not that I don't trust them, it's just that I didn't carry cash on me. And I had money in the bank. And I didn't give them money. And it's honestly killling me right now. And I don't want to "get used to it". I don't ever want to get used to seeing people in pain, or grow uesd to seeing people in need on a daily basis and not feel bad aobut it. And I don't want to hear "You can't change the world". I'm just angry for being so cold and not doing what I should have. Sorry, just had ot get it out... (I have therapy tomorrow, perhaps I'll cry then too?)
poster:spoc
thread:330003
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/330197.html