Posted by 64Bowtie on March 27, 2004, at 14:06:59
In reply to A side of myself that scares me, posted by Camille Dumont on March 26, 2004, at 9:35:14
> So I've always been shy, withdrawn ... I run away from conflic ... when people scream at each other, I feel like hiding in a closet ... like hurting myself even when people are not angry at me.
>
<<<Violence, and coercion next-mostly, must be erradicated from the family, completely. This is my highest order mission. This is why I am a "broken-record" about harnessing our impulses, specifically the urge to overcome and avoid dissatisfaction.Screaming at one another is absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, harmful and must be stopped, now, no excuses. No more, "Its so hard to change...(whine whine)!" True, screaming isn't "drawing blood". That's violence. After coercion of screaming, statistically comes "blood letting" violence. Wanna have that memory? I don't!
My dear, shy? How about wise? Stay away from violence and coercion to stay alive! We have 20 odd other conflicts each and every day to deal with, that probably have no elements of violence and coercion.
Battered women and children who seek my counseling, tell me stories that tear out my heart. I work to get them away from the danger and then refocus them on the process of living. This includes "normal" impulse management and conflict resolution practices.
I also do something I can't do here at Babble. I get a "personal contract" with clear guidelines, plans and goals. 100% report that they have never been given this much responsibility and respect at the same time. They volunteer that they feel my acceptance for them as a human being, sometimes for the first time in their lives.
Rod
poster:64Bowtie
thread:328660
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040324/msgs/329113.html