Posted by jlynne on March 20, 2004, at 0:04:17
In reply to Re: Mystic » jlynne, posted by LynneDa on March 19, 2004, at 11:46:02
It is never easy to bring up the subject of sexual abuse - I never know how people are going to react. Thank you all for being so supportive. I thank God that I was able to forgive my dad before he died (seven yrs ago) and my mom, who is in a nursing home now. They were also victims as children, and what they suffered was so appalling compared to what they did to me. My mom has dementia now, and it breaks my heart to know that she will never be able to find peace here on earth. It may be difficult to understand, but I love my parents very much. What they did happened a very long time ago, and it stopped before I was in grade school (I am 54yrs old now).
I'm sorry to go on about such an uncomfortable subject, but I want to explain that even though I have come to terms with what happened, I learned very early in life that the world is not a safe place for me. I have found it very difficult to un-learn that, but I am working on it.
I seem to be in a constant state of "fight or flight", and I am sure that this has to affect how my brain produces and releases the chemicals in my body. I sometimes feel that I am somehow subconsciously fighting the meds because my brain senses a threat to its defense system. That is why I get scared when I have to increase - maybe my brain will just keep fighting the drugs and no amount will be strong enough. Does anyone else feel like that? ...jlynne
poster:jlynne
thread:323847
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040316/msgs/326327.html