Posted by deirdrehbrt on February 19, 2004, at 18:52:58
In reply to Re: my thoughts as a bipolar » jdgjdg, posted by fallsfall on February 18, 2004, at 7:22:35
I think maybe I'll add my own viewpoints here. There were quite a few things mentioned so far, and maybe I'll hit on a couple.
First, as far as what is an 'attractive diagnosis', I think, and hope that such a thing doesn't really exist. I suppose that I would rather have some than others, but I don't have a choice. I have four diagnoses, and they are all quite horrible. I have bipolar 1, DID, BPD, and GID; they all stink.
I suppose that the people who want bipolar are looking for the mania or the hypomania. Sure there were times when I was exceptionally creative while being on the high side, but it just isn't worth it. It is a very small step from creative to 'off the wall'. I made that jump more than once. Also, feeling good while being manic doesn't make you safe.
Another note..... being diagnosed as bipolar doesn't make you manic. Ergo, getting the diagnosis doesn't give you the symptoms you want. I would much rather have all of it gone. I would rather be my own self, without the moods altered by illness, than to be hypomanic or manic for another day. My long periods of mania would completely exhaust me. Imagine staying up for days on end, working and working. It takes a toll on a body. When you come down from the high, you can hit bottom really fast. I've had times when I came down while driving. It was almost impossible to stay on the road. Being sick, it wouldn't occur to me that I could have called someone.
From what I've seen, none of the meds that I've been on could be used to make someone creative. About the most that they will do is put someone to sleep really fast. It's one of those things that kind of proves that if you don't need it, you shouldn't try it. I recall a friend's boyfriend trying some of her Seroquel, and learning the hard way that it wasn't a recreational drug. It is also sobering to learn that what I take for meds in a day could put a family to sleep for a week-end.
In any case, I can't think of any disease or diagnosis which would seem attractive once you have it for real. Disease is a self-defining word, and it is what it is for a reason. I can't wait for the day when I am actually stable. I know I won't be 'healed' but I would settle for better.
Dee
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:25020
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040219/msgs/315838.html