Posted by Penny on February 13, 2004, at 23:53:55
In reply to Re: Stressful day... :-(, posted by deirdrehbrt on February 13, 2004, at 20:59:42
Actually, I'm frustrated with social services because they have left that child with his mother all this time, when he should have been removed from her custody a long time ago. When they were involved before, it was as though b/c he didn't have visible bruising - he's emotionally abused - they couldn't do anything. So the social worker that was assigned to my cousin's case didn't seem to be working for the best interest of the children - she seemed to be just doing whatever the mother wanted her to do. It was as though she didn't take anything anyone else told her into consideration - she believed what M told her without question. M can be pretty manipulative. It's how she's learned to survive. And I'm sure she 'loves' her son in her own way - but I'm not sure she can really love anyone. I'm not sure she's capable of feeling that emotion. I know that probably sounds harsh, but I think she's been so emotionally traumatized that she's actually incapable of tapping into her emotions. She can be the coldest person, and then can turn on warmth when the occasion arises - but none of the warmth is sincere. I don't know - I don't trust her. Not one bit. And, at the same time, I wish I could do something for her. But she needs more help than I could ever give her. She needs to recognize her own problems, even if she's not clear on what they are, just recognize that she has some, and then she needs to try to get help for that.
When M talks to someone, even about her children, it always ends up being about her. She has a way of turning herself into the victim in whatever story she's telling. Yes, she has been hurt a great deal in her life, but I think she honestly believes that she's not responsible for any of the bad situation she finds herself in today. But what's worse is that she doesn't acknowledge the effect it has on her kids.
I don't know - she's a tough one to figure out. I know that there used to be a little girl in there who was loving caring and kind, but I don't know what happened to her. And as much as I would like to see M get the help she needs, I want to see the cycle end with her children even more. But until someone with authority steps up to the plate and does something - forces the cycle to end by taking M's kids from her to protect them - it's gonna continue.
It's all very frustrating. And I agree that social services has the capability to create good change in families. But in this case, they've really fallen down on the job.
P
poster:Penny
thread:313011
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040209/msgs/313085.html