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Re: How much meds, how much life? » Emme

Posted by Penny on January 16, 2004, at 11:31:03

In reply to How much meds, how much life?, posted by Emme on January 16, 2004, at 11:04:51

I completely understand how you feel, and I guess the way I look at it is - medication is not going to change your circumstances. So if you have a job you hate, or marital problems, or whatever, then medication is not going to make those problems disappear (unfortunately!). But what it can do, when it's working properly, is make those things more managable.

I don't really believe anymore that meds can make you 'happy.' But right now mine are working, and my job that I hate is more tolerable. And I feel more in control of my circumstances. And my financial situation, while still overwhelming, is a little less so. There's light at the end of the tunnel. I'm no longer caught in the depressive mindset of "this is always going to be this way, I'm never going to be able to do x, why even try?"

Do you know what I mean?

In fact, when evaluating how well my meds are working, my pdoc and I talk about my life circumstances (one of the most upsetting things to me right now is my job) and we try to separate out if a low mood is resulting from bad circumstances or 'just because'. Before, I felt down all the time, mostly. Despair and hopelessness always overshadowed whatever else I was doing, even if it was something I enjoyed. Now, I still dread going to work in the morning, but I am no longer sitting at work feeling absolutely miserable all day, and when I go home in the evening I'm able to put all of that behind me and relax and enjoy spending time with friends or my dogs or whatever. And I'm also able to think more clearly and not ruminate over bad things that used to keep me awake at night.

Things are far from perfect. But at least now I feel like they can continue to get better. As I said, light at the end of the tunnel.

Is this what you were looking for?

P


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