Posted by Lyrical13 on January 7, 2004, at 20:25:04
In reply to Re: mood disorders and adoption- lyrical, posted by judy1 on January 7, 2004, at 10:29:26
I understand what you mean Judy. You're not the first person who has reported being less than completely honest when trying to adopt. I talked to another woman who was frustrated because they weren't getting any calls (to match with birthmom) All the bmoms wanted a mother who wasn't going to work and that this would be their first child. She was working part time and I don't remember if this would be the first. Eventually she changed her profile and said she wasn't going to work and were matched. Of course, she is working now. But I really don't have a problem with that. My friend at work who is going through infertility and now is trying to adopt is really frustrated for a similar reason. They've only been shown 6x in the past year. The agency worker said that most bmoms want parents who are waiting for their first child and stay-at-home moms in their 20s. Jennifer is in her early 30s, has a 4-yr old son and works part-time with a very flexible schedule. She goes to all of her sons field trips and is able to be there for every aspect of his life. And when she's not home, his baby-sitter is her parents and they live right next door to her. It sounds like a wonderful situation to me. But because they don't exactly meet what bmoms are asking for, they aren't even shown to them. She was thinking about lying too and I think I would have to think about that. When it comes right down to it, adoptive parents have to go through way more scrutiny and jump through more hoops to have a child that most bio parents. I know that my husband and I will be great parents..though I do worry sometimes about the depression but every year gets a little better and we're getting closer to the right med combo. I guess I'll have to be as honest as possible but just not offer any more info than I have to. Thanks so much for your support.
PS Good news...we have a possible advocate/help in finding a bmom. A co-worker of mine told me her brother and sis-in-law have adopted 3 children. They are very active in their church and everyone knows about their adoptions. They are frequently approached my women who are pregnant but do not want to raise the baby. They just talked to a woman who is due in April. She told Jennifer about it first but also told me today. I told her to give Jen first option because she had been waiting longer and was in a better spot right now to have a new baby but to definitely keep me in mind if that doesn't work out and for any future bmoms they hear about. My husband and I are very excited and are feeling a renewed sense of hope. Esp since this would be much less expensive than going through the agency. Keep us in your thoughts!
poster:Lyrical13
thread:292663
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031229/msgs/297846.html