Posted by Emme on January 6, 2004, at 0:34:40
In reply to Feeling Left Out, posted by Bubbaleh on January 4, 2004, at 18:54:45
> I have felt left out over the past few months because almost no one ever calls me. My husband calls, my mother calls, and one friend calls. Period. Many other people seem to like talking to me if I call them, but they don't go out of their way to contact me.
I can relate to that feeling. It does sound like the small support group you have has the most important people in it!
> My therapist says that a) mentally ill people suffer due to stigma and b) my social skills need improvement.
Does she/he say *how* to improve your social skills?
> I have been trying hard to a) not tell people about my illness, medication, etc. and
I tell a fair amount of people about mine - if they are good friends and I trust them. Of course a lot of my friends happen to be card-carrying members of the club too! Anyway, I think talking about your illness in a matter of fact way to carefully selected people is okay as long as there's balanced time in the conversation for whatever's going on in their lives too. All things in moderation.
> b) be kinder, more supportive, more understanding--
That'll pay off. People appreciate that. It sounds like you're working on the right things.
> but so far don't see any results in terms of phone calls, e-mails, IMs, etc. It's not just well people either; other mentally ill people don't seem to care for me.
Yeah, I used to feel exactly that way. It was very painful. I felt like there was something wrong with me. I don't know why or how it happened, but at some point I stopped worrying about it. After all, sometimes people are just preoccupied and time zips by and it has nothing to do with you.
When I want to talk to people I call them, and if they fail to call back enough times, then so be it. And with time I found that enough people *did* call back. I don't know if that will help you, and feeling isolated is the pits.
> Am I the only one who has this kind of problem? What can I do about it?
I think building self confidence is one way to help with the problem. (easier said than done for sometimes!!!). Being at ease with yourself and knowing that you're a good person is appealing to other people. Of course depression takes that positive self image away from you. I hope you can find a nugget of it. Keep the faith. Your interactions with the world are a constant work in progress and I am betting that you won't always feel this way.
poster:Emme
thread:296467
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031229/msgs/296985.html