Posted by Karen_kay on January 5, 2004, at 14:05:41
In reply to Re: Now you're scaring me » Karen_kay, posted by Elle2021 on January 5, 2004, at 6:23:27
Don't you have school in the morning? Now, I don't want to get a progress report in the mail saying you missed class because you were posting about lions and tigers and bears. OH MY!
Now, let us get one thing straight right here. Don't feel bad about killing bugs. They are not endangered species. There are countless amounts of these dreadful creatures. When you kill one, three more spontaneously appear in a distant region across the United States or in a foreign country (which I prefer to think is true). This is a law of nature I learned in Biology 101. Also, they are not born. They do not have parents, siblings, aunts, uncles or any type of relatives. Again, they just appear. This is one of those "unknown wonders" that science cannot explain and scientists are just too scared to get close enough to the creatures to investigate. Bugs are just here. They don't breed, they just appear. They only way to kill them is to squash them. And to do this you must have the right equipment. Now, you need:
* gloves (preferrably leather)
* steel gloves that welders use
* something heavy, like a coffee table, car, bookshelf (you get the idea)
* safety goggles (don't want them to jump in your eyes)
*construction helmet
*bullet-proof vest
* overallsNow, when you see one, DON'T make eye contact! If you do, then it will think that you are preparing for battle. Slowly, walk towards the room that you keep you equipment in keeping your eye on the creature, but not maintaining eye contact. Walk in a zig-zag pattern, much like a crab. This will show the creature that you are a friends, a species similar to it. Again, keep your eyes on the creature, but DO NOT make eye contact. Do not make a sound! If you shout, especially obscenities the creature WILL without a doubt attack! If you do, a battle will ensure and I promise you will not be the victor! (Side note: Nothing is worse than a spider caught in your hair!)
Now, when you make your way to the room with the equipment, work at a slow pace. Put on the equipment. By the time you are prepared for the battle, and return to the room, the creature will know who is boss (that being you of course) and will have retreated to a different home! You, being the victor in this battle can change back to your regular attire, or if you feel festive can wear this ridiculous outfit around the house. Feel free to relax, fix yourself a drink, knowing that the creature ran home to tell his friends to stay away from the crazy lady who dresses like a weirdo!
poster:Karen_kay
thread:295158
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031229/msgs/296769.html