Posted by zenhussy on January 5, 2004, at 10:49:59
In reply to Re: my life feels like a big bad drug side effect » zenhussy, posted by mair on January 3, 2004, at 23:03:30
>i think I know some what you're talking about. Years ago I remember this book written by a spy entitled "I led two lives." I think this could describe lots of people with mood disorders. I've been struck on many occasions by the difference between my internal mood and external presentation. Sometimes I think that we expend too much energy trying to look and sound ok - with the result being that our internal resources become pretty depleted AND that our sense of isolation increases.
Um, yeah. I would love to read that book. I've mostly given up the outer appearance for others (or so I've thought). Maybe I'm not aware of what is going on. A large possibility considering the extent of the dissociation I've employed over the years.
> Don't underestimate the effects of this drug - chances are it is a huge contributor to how rotten you feel right now. I got in a similar bind with serzone a few years ago. Alot of what you're describing hit me. Ultimately I and my pdoc concluded that it wasn't a good drug for me, but while I was still taking it, I discovered that taking it at night instead of during the day, minimized alot of the most bothersome side effects. Maybe there is some adjustment your pdoc could make to ease some of what you're experiencing.I took care of the daytime power nap by switching to nighttime. Pdoc suggests I ride out this dose to see if I level out and then we(WE?!! Like this is a 'we' thing? Oh that's rich!) can go up to next level. Sigh.
>It sucks big time that you have to go through this without knowing that this drug will work for you in the end.
>MairYou said it Mair. It DOES suck big time not knowing and having to give this such a long trial if I can live through it!
Thank you for words of encouragement. Every little bit helps.
zh
P.S. Are you taking care of you? I hope so.
poster:zenhussy
thread:294106
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031229/msgs/296668.html