Posted by anks on November 12, 2003, at 20:52:31
In reply to Weight » anks, posted by Medusa on November 12, 2003, at 0:35:04
> > > avoiding family and friends because i cant bear the thought of them seeing me, just feel discusted.
>
> I've been there, hon. Oh, have I.
>
> The most effective thing for me was coming at it "backwards". Not trying to change my body any more, rather working on the disgust. Getting rid of the scale. Finding comfortable clothes that fit and are in colors I liked. Eating wonderful foods I enjoyed rather than feeling guilty, and trying to eat foods I didn't like. Oddly, the better I got to feel about my body as it was, the quickly it changed. These days, if a pair of pants starts to feel tight, it means I don't have the kitchen sufficiently stocked with foods I like.
>
> Here's a link to some books that really helped me:
>
> http://half.ebay.com/search/search.jsp?nthTime=1&product=books&keyword=Hirschmann&x=9&y=10
> (try copy and paste)
>
> > >I know that to some people this obession with weight and allowing it to control so much of my life seems selfish and pathetic,
>
> No it's *not*. It's not about food, it's not about your weight. It's about big stuff, and it's not "selfish and pathetic" of you to address it!
>
> In case my link attempt doesn't work, here are the authors' names and the titles:
>
> Jane Hirschmann and Carol Munter wrote:
>
> _When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies: Freeing Yourself from Food and Weight Obsession
>
> and
>
> _Overcoming Overeating
>
>
> Jane Hirschmann and Lela Zaphiropoulos wrote:
>
> _Preventing Childhood Eating Problems
>
> which could be really helpful (and painful) in learning about the anti-diet approach. It's written for parents, but you probably have to "re-parent" yourself in this respect. I found it really useful in dealing with the messages I got about food as a child. I tried to give the book to my mother (have young sibs still at home), but she dismissed it - she prefers to keep fighting with her kids over their bodies and what they eat. Last night I was talking to a brother who's since moved out, and it turns out he pulled the book out of the trash and found a lot of healing in it.
>
> Well I really jumped in there, hope this isn't too off base here and that Susan doesn't mind me posting first in response to a post directed to her ...
Thank you, sounds like you know this place well, why else would you read the books, think i have heard of the first one but the second i think is new to me, i have read a few, i will definately check them out. I feeling good toady and have a really busy weekend on, so i guess i feel somewhat safe at the moment. I have a party back where i lived at the beginning of the year and for three years prior to that on the 29/11, it is freaking me out a bit, some people i can handle better then others and this will be a mix. My family are against me going, scared i will spiral down afterwards, past experience suggests that this is highly likely, but he is a great friend, my best friend will also be there, and i'm sick of this non-living existence.Anyhow, i'll read your words over again and do my best to put them into practise, it's a great approach, hope i go well. Thank you, great to hear of people who have visited this place and left again, to many sad stories out that. Enjoy.
poster:anks
thread:278550
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031031/msgs/279189.html