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Depression pride

Posted by almondjoy on November 8, 2003, at 11:35:51

I found a helpful site a few months ago...http://www.geocities.com/eugenieza/DepressionMushrooming.htm

Even though I don't take or remember most of the advice the one thing that really stuck in my head is TO LET MYSELF BE DEPRESSED. I've been in a sort of flat depression for a few months. Frequently anxious, sometimes moody and irritable, but no where as desperate as in the past. After being in treatment for almost 5 years, it hadn't occured to me that it was ok to feel depressed. Instead I created more pressure for myself, why can't i be like everyone else, i "should" be out doing this or that...
But since the summer I've felt a bit better about myself by not trying to hide my depression from aquaintances, professors, and schoolmates. If I'm feeling moody, I sit in the back of the class with my hair in my face, cancel social plans when I don't want to go out, and tell my friends I'm feeling antisocial instead of forcing myself to smile.
I can't always think things out like that, at other times. Actually most of the time. But I want to get comfortable with bieng depressed, compared to a year ago, I don;t think i beat myself up as much or try so hard to be like everyone else. Cos I'm not. Everyone has thier struggles, but mine is getting out of bed, and going to four classes, and going to the store so I have something to eat. And thats the way it is, and I can expect it to be indefinetely, but that doesnt mean theres anything bad, insignificant or stupid about me. Just that my brain is sick and I feel proud that I did get up today.

I'm here, I'm sick, and I'm trying to get used to it


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poster:almondjoy thread:277728
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031031/msgs/277728.html