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struggling:need kindness

Posted by jmackie on November 1, 2003, at 6:10:27

This is my first post on this board. I find the people here so kind and thoughtful.
I'm 38 and depressed since 19. I cannot work or get out much. Meds have helped briefly in the past, but not for six years. Every day is a struggle.
My psychiatrist seems to patronize me, seeing me as an affable crank rather than a person who can get better. He won't be aggressive with new meds, but instead encourages me to make small social steps which are painful and unhelpful. I try, to please him, and end up in an emotional turmoil that he considers -- somehow -- beneficial for me. I am so worried I will lose his respect I focus on pleasing him out of fear of abandonment, though I wish I had a doc who took me and the hopes for meds seriously.
I feel so alone in my pain.
sorry to ramble.
i send love and support to all who post here. You help me.




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