Posted by deirdrehbrt on October 31, 2003, at 23:51:29
Today, Nov 1, is All Saint's Day, in the Catholic Church. It's ironic that it is also the birthday of my brother.
It has only been during the past two years that I have considered that I was abused at all. My brother was one of those who abused me.
I have always sent a card, or phoned all of my brothers, (I have three) on their birthdays. One of them is as supportive as anyone in my family could be, while the others were abusive in the past, and are unsuportive or hostile now.
It is hard for me to realize that for me, my family is completely fractured and unreliable if not hostile. It is difficult to break a lifelong habit of observing the important days of my siblings.
It's also hard to realize on days like this that in order to be healthy, I need to break certain traditions that hold me connected to people it is unhealthy to be around. So, I need now to break ties with my brother, or sever a connection to an abuser. I guess I need to mourn the first while embracing the second.
Now is good practice, I think, for the very near holidays. It is going to be very difficult to tell these people that I will not be there. I'll have a special time with my kids, but I can't be around people who are likely to hurt me.
Maybe there should be another group somewhere.... let's see.... Adult Orphans of Abusive Families.... AOAF ... AOAf? I'm sure that a name will arise.
So, Happy All Saint's Day, and good riddance to those who might have, or might still, hurt us.
Dee.
poster:deirdrehbrt
thread:275432
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031031/msgs/275432.html