Posted by yesac on October 29, 2003, at 11:26:22
In reply to You must start watching Bewitched, posted by kara lynne on October 28, 2003, at 19:40:02
Well, the highlight of my days is drinking tea. I'm serious. I've become obsessed with tea over the past couple of months. Usually, in the morning, I have a cup of green tea. In the afternoon, I have English Afternoon Tea - but now in the afternoon I'll be drinking English Breakfast Tea, because that's what I bought last night.
> went to work for half a day.I thought you weren't working?
> Did the Ritalin help you at all? I have found it helpful sometimes, but it's inconsistent.
Well, it was weird. I feel like mainly it made me feel kind of mellow. Not really good mellow. Sort of depressed mellow - like, contemplative and calm. It is similar to the way I feel if/when I drink. It did not give me energy or make me feel *good* or anything of that sort. So I don't know. I am thinking that I might ask my doctor about trying a different stimulant when I see him next week. I like the idea of stimulants because they work fast. But I don't know if there's really a point in me trying a different one.
The issue that I was thinking about today was: How do people ENJOY their lives? I mean, it doesn't seem to me that many people have a particularly exciting life. I just don't get what people do in order to actually find joy in life. How to escape the mundane horridness of every day. You know? I just feel like everything is so drab and bleak. I don't even know what I could do to be happier. I don't know what I expect to get from therapy, yet I'm frustrated with it anyways. I can't imagine ever being much happier.
I just feel like I am going to continue on with this never-ending struggle, sometimes feeling slightly better, sometimes feeling much much worse... and then I'll die, and that will be that.
poster:yesac
thread:271834
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031020/msgs/274628.html