Posted by Susan J on October 27, 2003, at 10:05:24
In reply to Getting parents to understand my depression..., posted by john1022 on October 26, 2003, at 17:13:21
Hi, John,
>>I seem to be having a hard time getting my parents to understand (especially my mom) what I am going through with this depression I am dealing with. She is for the most part VERY supportive, but at times I can sense her frustration in me.
<<My mother is exactly the same way...
> It's almost like she thinks that this is some kind of weakness in my personality and that I should "just get over it". At other times she is very supportive and sympathetic though, more than I could ever ask for and for that I am lucky.
<<My mom, too.
> Can anyone suggest what I should do? Is there some kind of counseling or something that she could seek to better understand what I am going through?<<I don't think that anyone who's never experienced depression is ever going to truly *get* it. My therapist once described it to me like, imagine the worst you've ever felt in your life, now multiply that by 100 and suffer it every moment of the day. That *still* doesn't describe it.
I think it would be a great idea to recommend some books to her if she's interested. A lot of times, loved ones of depressed people just feel plain powerless, they want your pain to go away and they have no idea how to help. I don't know any good books for relatives off the bat, but I did like "Unholy Ghost" which is a bunch of short essays by depressed people and the loved ones of depressed people, trying to express their own personal hells, how they cope, how they overcome, etc. I read it when I thought my boyfriend was depressed (hahah, and it was me all the time). It was insightful for *me* though.
I tell my mother that I really appreciate how supportive she's being, but that depression is such an all-consuming thing for me at my worst, that it's imperative I spend every ounce of energy I have on making myself better, or just getting through the day. And since I have no extra energy, I can't reassure her, truly explain depression to her, etc. So if your mom's into reading about it, I think that's a wonderful first step.
Good luck. I know how frustrating it can be when a loved one, even a very supportive loved one, just doesn't get it. They're trying, that's wonderful. It'd be so much worse if they didn't even care...
I'll be thinking about ya,
Susan
poster:Susan J
thread:273701
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031020/msgs/273890.html