Posted by madwand on October 26, 2003, at 20:24:34
In reply to Would Anyone be willing to help me please., posted by galkeepinon on October 26, 2003, at 3:58:34
If you have a visible sore (as opposed to a lump) that shouldn't need a mammogram. Just ask the doctor to look at it. And while it is no substitute for a doctor visit, checking out the pictures at:
http://www.skincancer.org/self_exam/look_for.php
can be really good for alleviating fear (I had some Unusual Things a while back that I was sort of panicking about -- it helped).
Your weight and how you feel about your weight are two separate issues. You say that you now want to lose weight for your health (as opposed to looks) but cite your weight as one reason for turning down the party and the date. I suspect you are on target on the other reasons as well.
I get the sense, from this and from other things I have observed about you (excuse me if I am going over the line, but you asked for feedback), but it seems to be hard for you to accept that people care about you (intellectually yes -- but not in the gut).
Since that is not going to go away overnight, anyone who wants to get close to you in the way you want Todd to get close to you will have to be able to deal with that (and not take it personally). This may be a bit of a test of that. If he "hangs in there" then he may have what it takes to be closer to you. If not, then such a relationship would only lead you [both] to more pain.
As for the weight itself, I can only go back to the inner dialog approach that we talked about once before (particular if there is a concern that you may be somehow using the weight as a "defense" -- you could talk to that part of you and explain that you appreciate its efforts but you need it to focus in other directions).
I hope that helps some. Have a great week!Michael
poster:madwand
thread:273556
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031020/msgs/273750.html