Posted by Larry Hoover on October 25, 2003, at 7:48:04
In reply to Here's the scoop on how it went..., posted by Wildflower on October 25, 2003, at 1:25:39
> Basically, the date was AWESOME. Dinner was incredible and I haven't been this attracted to someone in a very long time.
>
> Unfortunately, I have a bad feeling that he's only after one thing. After dinner all he wanted to do is to come back to my place (across town) even though his was a few miles from the restaurant. He didn't seem interested at all in getting to know me as a person except for in a physical sense. He seemed very shocked that I turned him down.
>
> I just don't understand. I didn't dress like a bimbo. I didn't act like a bimbo. I'm the furthest thing from a bimbo. Why then am I treated like a piece of meat???Some guys think that if they've put out sufficient "hospitality", it's reasonable to expect some in return. I'm not justifying that thinking (it is selfish beyond description), but it is a common pattern.
> I'm so frustrated right now I can't sleep.
His behaviour *wasn't* about you. The test will be if he calls you again, and wants to see you again. You've established a boundary with him. It may have taken him by surprise, but he did respect it. He now knows it's part of the package. If he comes back to you, you will know that he gets where you're coming from. If he doesn't, good riddance.
> I suppose there was a reason I haven't been on a date in a year.
I know your feelings are hurt, but remember, you had a good time, and you had your "attraction mode" all excited and everything.
> I'm sure that there's someone out there who will appreciate me for who I. I just need to be patient...
When the disappointment over the close of the evening dissipates, I'm sure that's what will come to the fore.
Please don't ever think about compromising your values to be with somebody. It's a bad deal for both of you.
Hugs to ya,
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:272285
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031020/msgs/273056.html