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this is driving me insane

Posted by sarita0001 on October 21, 2003, at 22:31:38

Hi,

For some of you who have read my posts might know about how I was on meds for 7 years and misdiagnosed, etc,etc. Well what has really been bothering me and I haven't posted it here is the cosmetic side effects I got from Topamax. I didn't realize how self-conscious I could really be until this happened. I made the blonde hair on my face(everyone has it but you can't see it) turn black and grow a little longer. That's called hypertrichosis and is apparently a not so likely side effect and is hormonal(a lot of people don't know that topamax and aed's have testosterone in them) So this drives me crazy every single day because I beat myself up about having taken the stupid medicine after dieting and exercising for 1.5 years due to lithium weight gain.

The only thing I could do is go to a dermatologist and get the hair lasered off which is going to cost me up to 2000 dollars and I am a student. I am so self-conscious about it my self esteem gets lower every day. It's mostly just on my cheeks and side of face. No mustache or beard problems at least. Ha. I am afraid it won't work, even though it has after one time, and that this is going to be an ongoing problem. A problem that happened just because I was on a medicine for 4 months that I didn't even need. The self blame kills me every day. I was never this self-conscious ever and I think most of it is not visible and is in my head. I guess after hoping the Topamax would work and it screwing me over, I think the laser treatments won't work.

If anyone has any advice, I would appreciate it. I am embarassed to share this even though you all don't know me. It is embarassing and I feel like an idiot. I did so much research on Topamax here and elsewhere and no one had this problem. I couldn't go to my parents about this because they never want to talk about the illness or anything. That pisses me off too. Therapy 2x a week is helping but I am starting to lose hope in that even.

thanks so much for all the other times too.

Sara


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poster:sarita0001 thread:271667
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031020/msgs/271667.html