Posted by Zarah78 on October 17, 2003, at 21:30:35
In reply to Scary Internet Dating, posted by Susan J on October 16, 2003, at 11:59:36
I was going to reply to this post yesterday while I was at work, but then someone wandered in and gave me something to do and then the site went goofy and well.. procrastination is king, no? :)
Anyway, I've been doing the internet "meeting/dating" thing for a few years now and can understand your frustration with the "freaks and weirdos" ratio of response. I'd agree with the poster (I'm sorry, I forgot who!) who suggested going to a hobby site or something of that nature thats more in line with helping find people with something in common. Dating sites, I've noticed seem to get a lot more hits from the scary folks. Also, definitely meet in a public place, but I'd suggest doing so after talking on the phone with the guy a few dozen times prior. Cell phones are best for that, I think, because its harder for a stalker to run to the net and do a reverse phone lookup and get your address. Phone converstaions will give you a better idea of who someone is, IMO. And I usually ask a few repeated questions to get an idea of honesty. "How old did you say you were?" "You have.. 3 sisters, 2 cats? Or 2 sisters, 3 cats?" Always keeping in mind how they answered before. If stories start changing, "I coulda sworn you said X before..." and see what happens. Easy to block a # from calling you with a cell after you've hung up, if you've decided he's far from perfect. :)
And if a guy gets too pushy to meet you in person sooner than your comfortable, let him know! If he gets snippy, be careful, maybe find out why he's being like that and explain your opinions. :)
They aren't all bad! I'm still dating a guy I met in May '02. And before that, I almost married a guy I'd met online after dating for over 2.5 yrs (we're still friends). These days, its hard to find a good place to meet good people, it seems. Bars.. clubs.. all noisy. Work.. coworker dating can get ugly. Could take a class? Not really many good places anymore. Then there's the whole depression/not wanting to leave the house issue to deal with.
I wish you the best of luck! :)
(((SusanJ)))-Z
Who still uses internet dating in spite of the stalkers and weirdos!
poster:Zarah78
thread:270019
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031011/msgs/270433.html