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Re: Pain » Susan J

Posted by Larry Hoover on October 8, 2003, at 13:25:54

In reply to Pain » galkeepinon, posted by Susan J on October 7, 2003, at 12:29:33


> I know it's in *your* best interests to seek forgiveness, it really is, but if it's causing this much pain in others, I don't know if it's worth it. Can't better yourself at the expense of others and all that...

I'd have to agree with Susan, here. The 9th step of AA reads: "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

Making amends should only be attempted after much reflection, to ensure that you're not rubbing salt in a wound.

As Susan so well expressed in the Admin posting, people don't owe each other forgiveness....and the seeking of forgiveness should never be undertaken for selfish reasons. If that is the case, then what is being sought is not forgiveness at all. It's a desire to have the incident forgotten....which can be seen to be very disrespectful.

Lar

 

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poster:Larry Hoover thread:266224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/266786.html