Posted by Sabina on October 7, 2003, at 18:22:47
In reply to Avoiding suicidal thoughts, posted by cubic_me on October 7, 2003, at 9:09:59
even when i can't think of compelling reasons to live (i don't have children yet, that might be one in the future), i could *always* think of things that i didn't like about the idea of actually dying.
i would think of how bad it would be for whoever found me and what if a child was there when i was found? how crappy would that be to damage a child, a stranger, or a loved one with my sad, twisted bull****?
i would berate myself for being weak enough to give up and how i wanted to believe that i can do/be better than that.
like Penny, i would take a pill (one pill!) and just lie down for awhile.
the silly one is that i didn't want to die while i was still overweight. i at least wanted to leave an attractive corpse!
the worst fear was that my estranged mother, whose religious beliefs are violently opposed to mine, would try to force my husband to hold a service in her church. yikes.
poster:Sabina
thread:266280
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/266498.html