Posted by Susan J on October 7, 2003, at 15:18:36
In reply to Thank You~Best Wishes In Healing and Moving On, posted by galkeepinon on October 7, 2003, at 14:18:29
Gal, please.
I feel for you because you did a good thing by coming clean and apologizing. I'd like the fact you did that to bring some healing here. For yourself and others. But I think you are getting caught up with people's anger and getting defensive.
A defensive attitude cannot coexist with a sincere apology. You have to lay yourself bare on this one. Totally humble. Willing to take the beating. By getting defensive, you negate any good your apology might do for others, *and* any good it might do for you.
It's your penance to deal with angry and hurt posts here. Penance -- dictionary definition - says it much better than I could -- an act of self-abasement, mortification, or devotion performed to show sorrow or repentance for sin.
You felt the guilt of deception and it became too much for you. You figured the best thing to do was apologize. And I admire you for that. But just because you've had time to come to terms with your actions *doesn't* mean other people have had the time to do the same thing. This is all new to them, remember. Just because you are ready to seek forgiveness doesn't mean others are ready to forgive. And you *should not* expect them to be ready. You shouldn't condemn them for not being ready. You shouldn't condemn them if they *never* forgive you.
*Forgiveness is a gift, not an entitlement.*
poster:Susan J
thread:266419
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/266433.html