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Guilty happiness

Posted by Eddie Sylvano on September 18, 2003, at 18:28:06

Looking back on my life, it occurred to me that whenever I was really happy about something, someone in my life (father, ex wife) would snap at me, like I was goofing off or doing something stupid and wrong, which hurt. I'm reeeeally sensitive. It was much safer to be gloomy because then there wasn't anything to take away from me, or maybe I just didn't appear to be doing wrong if I were sad. It was safer, and I got left alone. I became much more concerned that they be happy, so I wouldn't get yelled at or roughed up. It's really ingrained in me. Now, if I can just undo that. Easier said than done.


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poster:Eddie Sylvano thread:261446
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030913/msgs/261446.html