Posted by Susan J on September 9, 2003, at 15:33:42
In reply to Re: I'm Crazy, Aren't I? » Susan J, posted by Ted on September 9, 2003, at 15:11:44
>
> This is the classic scenario of an abuser (either physical or emotional). I am in favor of second chances, but only you can decide how *horrible* he was. I am not in favor of third (or fourth or ...) chances.
<<Never physical abuse. Perhaps emotional, but I don't know how to gauge it. It was a failure to be there for me when I *really* needed help. This would be the second chance....although I still don't know if I'm strong enough to forgive...
>After all, he is the one who is so emotionally unhealthy, and you won't be able to change that without *lots* of patient effort.
<<I know. He's now going to therapy. I don't know when it's OK to forgive someone their faults, because I'd really appreciate if someone would put up with my depression, which may not be a fault, per se, but is/can be difficult for another person to deal with.> Because she is lonely and the familiar is "safe". This is an occasion where you must avoid what feels "safe" and venture out of her cocoon.
<<Probably true. But I've been without him for a few months. *have* ventured out. It's one of those horrible times where you just feel some sort of emotional connection with someone that you rarely ever find.....says lots about me, that's he's the one I feel connected to. :-)But thanks for the advice. Whatever happens, it's going to happen really slowwwwwwwly and on my terms.
It's just weird to have so many conflicting feelings.
poster:Susan J
thread:258427
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030829/msgs/258469.html