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Posted by Dr. Bob on August 22, 2003, at 0:40:03

In reply to For the Psycho Babble site ;) galkeepinon, posted by Dr. Bob on August 21, 2003, at 22:45:55

[Posted by BLKVETTES on August 22, 2003, at 0:19:57

In reply to]

> Hi all, sorry Dr. Bob if this should have gone somewhere else on another site. Its who I was, its where I was, on the brink of suicide. This board and others helped save my life. Of course lexapro, my family and GOD helped also. When you make a deal with GOD and he comes through you better keep your end of the bargain. So I keep posting on all the boards that helped me. The lexapro is one of my favorites because everyone here is on a med. Other boards people refuse them and I try to talk them into it and try to get them to see a doctor. It took that lexapro a good 6 weeks before I finally accepted I had a chemical imbalance. So for 5 months I was researching diseases or having tests done in the hospital. Oh well lucky me I have recovered!! Well here is part of my story written during a dark time and the end has been changed just a bit!!!!!!!!! TAKE CARE ALL!!!!!!!!!
> The Man With The Clowns Eyes
> Do you ever wonder about clowns. They look so sad!!!! They look like tears are flowing from their eyes. But they seem happy and act happy. But they look so sad!!! I want to tell you about the man with the clowns eyes. He really has been happy all his life. He really cant complain about the way he was raised. But things went wrong and he does not know why or how. One morning he was sitting on the edge of his bed waiting for his wife and daughter to leave for the day. He was very sad but hid this from his little girl. Well the time came for them to leave and he wished them a good day and kissed his daughter good bye. He then went back to his room and sat on the edge of the bed staring at a tv with no sound. He did this everyday, he did not eat, he could not sleep and the pain in his aching body was unbearable. As he sat there tears began to flow from his eyes. He did this everyday and saw no reason to live. He felt he was a burden to all. He thought of many ways to end his life. Why was the man with the clown eyes so sad. He began to recall his childhood. His parents were divorced when he was very young. But his dad was always there and was a good father. But he missed his father because he was no longer there everyday. He had a great mother who sacrificed to make his life a happy one. So it could not be his childhood. He became a teenager, he had lots of friends, the girls were attracted to him. He was very popular!!!!! So it could not be because of his teenage years. He got married very young and had kids that he loved very much. There was a time when he did drugs that nearly destroyed his family and himself. He sought help and quit the drugs and became his old self again. Years went by and the man with the clowns eyes was really very happy. He had everything a person ever dreams of in life. But one day this all came to an end. He no longer cared how he looked. He quit eating, he could not sleep and was very depressed. He lost interest in all that made him happy. So now the man with the clowns eyes just sits in his room with fear as the tears flow from his eyes and down his cheeks. He went from doctor to doctor and no one could make him feel happy again. All hope was gone, but he looked at the picture of his daughter that was next to the bed. This always made him cry harder and his body shake and tremor. He could not end his life!!!! Even though he no longer wanted to live he could not do this to his family. This was the low point for the man with the clowns eyes. Everyday he sat there and cried never wanting to leave his room. I wonder if the man with the clowns eyes will be ok. Will he always be sad!!!! Will he be happy!!!! Will he live or die!!!! I really cant say!!!! But as I look in the mirror at the man with the clowns eyes. Tears begin to flow from my eyes and down my cheeks. I get the feeling he will be ok. I get the feeling he will be happy again. Well we can only hope that this is true!!!!




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