Posted by lil' jimi on August 16, 2003, at 2:08:03
In reply to re: not an upbeat topic, please be aware » lil' jimi, posted by Sabina on August 16, 2003, at 0:00:56
> >>>> re: .... .... corresponding directly with Dr. Bob also limits exposing our posters to the anxieties of these issues ... many are not well for the possibility of tragedy ... ...
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> i feel like you are inferring that i am exposing our posters to anxiety by mentioning my concern for gracie's well being. however, i will take no offense, since i choose to assume that none was intended. i am well aware of the inadequacies of this medium, where the inferances and tones of exchanges can be so slippery and obscure at times.
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> in the past, i've made a point of not reading posts that may have proven to be triggering for me (detailed suicide plans, etc.) and i trust that our posters are able to take responsibility for themselves and excercise the same discretion in this case.
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> i sincerely apologize that i didn't have a more pleasant topic for the evening, but i wasn't led to believe that was my brief for this board. we have emotional and mental problems. it hurts. it's not pretty. this is where we talk about it with people who understand.
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> i don't feel that i'm exactly fanning the flames of panic, here, though. to that end i purposely only mention gracie anymore after someone else does first.
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> incidentally, i have written to dr. bob (and dinah) twice each. dinah doesn't seem to know anymore than i do. dr. bob's advice was to post my concerns here, which i have done. i confess that i had hoped for a more agressive response from him, one along the lines of a welfare check.
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> the second time i wrote to him he advised me to contact her ISP. i have since done so. i'm sure they'll hop right into action because some crazy girl on a message board said that somebody else said in a post that....yadda, yadda.
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> riiiight. see, that's why i was thinking it might carry some more weight if it had come from dr. bob. oh well. i've been so disappointed, in fact, that i've mostly stayed away as of late to try and process through my feelings about it privately.
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> let's just pray that gracie either got herself out of that house or at least reiterated her request for police backup in an alternate venue, one that was immediately available, less anonymous, and more adequately appointed toward a course of action, and that she is well and safe tonight.
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> respectfully,
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> sabina
i admire that you have been so thorough on gracie's behalf and i am grateful that you have already exhausted all of my suggestions ... ... i am grateful that you have been so conscientious and deliberate .... .... you are also very articulate, which i envy ... ... i'm not so articulate ... ...
... ... i apologize for any hurt i have caused you
... ... i intended no criticism of you whatsoever
... ... i can now easily see how this interpretation would have been drawn ...
... ... i apologize for not considering the inference you could, not unreasonably, draw from my words
... ... i am truly sorry for this and i ask for your forgiveness
... ...
... ... i was speaking from my experience of a poster who created considerable havoc for a lot of us ... ... the circumstances were completely different from gracie's ... ...this poster got banned ...
her supporters established e-mail connection with her ...
she subsequently e-mailed her suicide announcement to her supporters ...
i panicked and posted my panic on the meds board, panicking others, who out of the best of intentions wanted to help someone in danger ...
i'd only been here a week or two and in my hysteria violated posting policies left and right ...the poster survives, recovers, returns from her ban ...
only to post and e-mail her suicide announcements again ...
the 3rd time ... people wise up; sympathies turn into pity, but for some, into angry hostility ...by now the announcements come with vengeful hatred, singling out all authorities and especially her supporters ... ...
there were subsequent episodes, but by this time all of her other supporter had left psycho-babble or left soon afterward ...
except for mewhen i wrote about limiting the trauma to our posters, i was recounting my experience and my lessons from it ... ... well, for myself ... ... those feelings are just there now ... ... i would not be able to try to accuse you being insensitive or thoughtless
... ... to me, i was sharing my considerations on avoiding suffering because i had indiscretely increased suffering here and i became close to people who deeply hurt by this poster ... ...i have read your posts of your concern for gracie's safety ... ... ... they have always been kind, deliberate and gentle, while being urgent and pleading .... ... i think, if i may be so bold, they were in excellent taste and way within the stress levels our fragile posters manage to take on the boards ... ... i admire the skill and effort exercised to offer such conscientious expression of your own panic about your friend gracie ... ...
i am probably in a better position than most to appreciate the stress you have been enduring ... ... to feel the urgent need to take action to protect or save a friend, BUT not be able to take action AND not have ANY control over the dilemma ... ... and i understand too well how these feelings are exaserbated by the impression that the authorities are not taking the actions we expect must be taken ... ... and by the impression that everyone else is indulging in bystander syndrome ...
i offer you my narrative not as an excuse ... ... i seek no excuse here ... i should have considered the consequences to your feelings ... i didn't ... ... i was wrong ... ... i offer my narative only as an explanation, so that you might see i was not being beligerent, rather than negligent ... ... distracted by my own feelings, i mentioned something i wished someone had mentioned to me ...
... ... i wrote the words that hurt you, to me, more than i wrote them to you ...i am sorry ... ... ... i hope you will forgive me
regretfully,
~ jim
poster:lil' jimi
thread:250124
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030808/msgs/251259.html