Posted by KimberlyDi on July 29, 2003, at 10:32:42
In reply to does this seem nearly as complicated as it is???, posted by lostsailor on July 25, 2003, at 18:42:40
LostSailor,
My definition of love has evolved from my younger years through mid-20's, to what it is now. My early definition of love is how i wanted someone else to make me feel: secure, safe, loved, wanted, happy. I was unable to feel these things by myself. Now, I understand that love is alittle simpler. For me to love, it means giving freely of my affection and appreciation without expectations. I love my husband and my son for their good qualities and try to be understanding and accepting about their bad qualities. I try to make certain that when I tell him that I love him, that it IS because I love him, and not because I need reassurance that he still loves me.What seems complicated to me isn't giving love, it's receiving love, which might boil down to "needing love". A needy person (which I used to be and fight not to be again) needs more reassurance and control over a relationship that an emotionally healthy partner can deal with. Needy people attract more needy people=2 sick people trying to save each other. Been there, done that.
Love is simple. We make it complicated.
My 2 cents & 2 paragraphs worth?
Sorry for being long-winded and not taking the time to follow this thread to the beginning. I'm not accusing anyone of being needy. :) Oh, and I'm a believer now in the theory that you have to love and accept yourself first before you can trust that anyone else will.
KDi in Texas> Main Entry: 1love
> Pronunciation: 'l&v
> Function: noun
> Etymology: Middle English, from Old English lufu; akin to Old High German luba love, Old English lEof dear, Latin lubEre, libEre to please
> Date: before 12th century
> 1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> b : an assurance of love <give her my love>
> 2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea>
> 3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration
>
> or
>
> love noun
> 1 [U] strong feelings of attraction towards, and affection for, another adult, or great affection for a friend or family member:
> "I've been seeing him over a year now." "Is it love?"
> Children need to be shown lots of love.
> "I'm seeing Laura next week." "Oh, please give her my love" (= tell her I am thinking about her with affection).
> INFORMAL How's your love life (= your romantic and/or sexual relationships) these days?
>
> 2 [C] a person that you love and feel attracted to:
> He was the love of my life.
> She was my first love.
>
> 3 [as form of address] UK INFORMAL used as a friendly form of address:
> You look tired, love.
>
>
> why isn't it all that simple????
> ~t
poster:KimberlyDi
thread:245281
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030727/msgs/246449.html