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I must admit….

Posted by lostsailor on July 10, 2003, at 4:10:51


that I started to “lurk” a bit the other day. I was pleased to see so many “new old” posters back in babble.
At the same time, though, I realized that this has occurred before and that it I think is was the last time I left babble for a bit.

I know some don’t “get” my posts and maybe I should write clearer, but at the same time I wonder if I should just not write at all. I have much to say but you all seem to have the bases covered. What’s that saying about too many cooks in a kitchen….

I saw a flock of ducklings today. Both parents seemed very proud.
Later I saw a woman, with child inside her, all safe and all warm.
Earlier this morning I saw a man, woman and two kids out on a bike ride at the park: a family.

I see that the above life is not in store for me and I cried.

In today’s mail, I received a copy of a friend’s diploma that I have not seen since undergrad years,
It had no note or return address on it. Why would one send that when he knew I had to take a sabbatical from grad school to wrestle demons? Did he want to let me know all was well with him? He could have asked me if things worked out a bit for me, but no—just an envelope and a photocopy in it. I cried.

I used to think all “men” were created equal. At least that’s what I was taught, but more and more I see they are not—borrowing a Justice’s words: ”separate but not equal”

I am single.
I am lonely.
I am sorry
That I’m Tony


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poster:lostsailor thread:240490
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030704/msgs/240490.html