Posted by kara lynne on June 30, 2003, at 1:51:10
I had to email the ex about getting more of my stuff. We started to engage (I know, not a good idea). He said there are TWO people here with wants and needs and feelings. Two people, two. Yes he said it three times.
What can I say to that ? No there aren't? That's not even the issue, but that's where he's putting it. I don't know what to do so I keep bringing up what happened two weeks ago and saying I don't remember saying such reprehensible things to him. That was all his one person. By his taking repsponsibility I am not obfuscating mine, but that's how he sees this.
I don't know what's appropriate. Yes there are two people. So therefore what happened wasn't that bad? I don't know what I'm supposed to extrapolate. My stuff is as bad as his, so he's not such a bad guy? And does what he is saying somehow negate my experience? It feels like it, even though the words he's saying sound so correct.
He says he misses me. In his mind I gave him an ultimatum about having a child, and that's why all this went down. Funny, but I don't remember issuing him an ultimatum. I simply asked where my desire for a child was supposed to go now that HE had determined we were not going to have one.
He says he loves me. As if that somehow excuses him from ever having to act like he does.
I told him I hoped he didn't hurt himself in his blinding enthusiasm to marry me--that kind of passion can be dangerous.(He did for a moment "acceed" to marry me if we were going to move into a new place together--we were supposed to get married after 3 months of living together and it had been two years.) The night he knew was my last, he came in and tried to tell me..."but...we were gonna get married..."
Two people here.
I'm guessing this one of them should keep her mouth shut, but it's so hard. Especially when it's late and I'm lonely, and any old contact will do even it it's war.
poster:kara lynne
thread:238053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030626/msgs/238053.html