Posted by whiterabbit on June 29, 2003, at 19:04:15
In reply to --y'all, posted by shar on June 29, 2003, at 11:02:42
I know it doesn't help you any but I'm following you down the rabbithole. Here we are again in Wonderland where nothing makes sense or is as it seems. At least I have one advantage that doesn't appear to be advantage-like at all: a philandering husband who has filed for divorce. But here's the good in it: a fine, solid reason for being depressed and agitated and also, a live target for my anger. I've avoided him and said little to him for weeks but this morning I let him have it with both barrels. (Not literally, despite the momentary satisfaction it would bring me, some Texas justice come to call...)
As painful as the whole situation is, depression for unknown reasons is worse. Actually, the reason isn't unknown: it's no longer a theory or medically unproven that such dispair has a biological source, brain chemistry out of balance. In fact in the world of psychiatrists, it's pretty much considered malpractice to attempt treatment with therapy alone and no medication once a mood disorder has been diagnosed.
Shar, have you been dx'd with bipolar? You seem to be aware that your depression has a cyclic nature. You should be on medication and not just an inadequate dose of Wellbutrin. I'm aware of the cost, my own medication would be more than $500 a month out-of-pocket...that doesn't count the psychiatric visits I need to get the medication. I've stipulated continued medical coverage in my own legal petition answering my husband's petition for divorce, but my attorney said that once I'm legally divorced, his insurance company is no longer obligated to supply medical coverage for me whether my ex-husband is willing to pay for it or not.
So of course I got extremely upset over this news.
I told him the truth, that I MUST have that medication, it's keeping me sane. I know what suicidal depression is like and I can't go back there, I just can't. So I answered my husband's divorce petition with my own petition for legal separation. It's only a temporary solution but I'll have medical coverage for the time being.I've applied for social security disability benefits and you should too. Even if you qualify for not very much money due to your earnings, SSA or SSI benefits will qualify you for Medicare or at least Medicaid. The last time I saw my GP, he said a wonderful thing to me: "I don't usually accept Medicaid patients but I'll be happy to make an acception for you."
I twisted away from the word 'Medicaid' when he said it, visibly upset. My doctor said, "No, you listen to me. Medicaid is a hell of a lot better than no coverage at all, take my word for it. You NEED medical coverage, don't you go without it."He's right, of course. Shar you need it too. This medical condition we have is as lethal as a malignant tumor. You are too good of a person, too smart and creative and caring, to let this thing get you. You need medical care.
You probably remember some of the stuff I've been through - the police, the paramedics, the overdoses, the alcohol and drug abuse, the hospitalizations. IF I CAN GET WELL WITH MEDICATION, I KNOW YOU CAN. Nobody thought I would make it, nobody. But here I am.
You can apply for social security benefits online at www.ssa.gov - I've gone through the process myself so write me if you have questions. There are so many small, petty, selfish, evil types wandering around in the world - don't leave us.
We need you.(((((Shar))))))
<3 Gracie
poster:whiterabbit
thread:237725
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030626/msgs/237963.html