Posted by Tabitha on June 26, 2003, at 1:02:08
I want the boyfriend back.. of course not the actual boyfriend, but some modified impossible fantasy version. Before the breakup we were talking on the phone 2x per day, first thing AM and last thing PM, seeing each other midweek and weekends, spur of the moment (we only live 3 minute drive apart), not to mention all the sex and cuddling and usage of cute pet names. There's a big lonely void where all that stuff was.
My mind is doing this useless exercise of trying to figure out how I can get the good times to come back and shed the bad times, or we can have some new phase with different parameters (like no commitment? Just fun? friends who sleep together?) which of course in reality would last about a week then I'd be back at day one in the grief process.
I can't even replace him til I get thru all this, and I don't know how long it will be.
Other reasons I'm down..
1) dental work tomorrow
2) therapist on vacation
3) me on vacation next week & week after -- no plans, planned it before the breakup
4) my nasty coworker did his usual criticism and I wasn't quick enough to deflect it. too foggy
5) bloated from milk I drank yesterday
6) can't stand new soy milk at starbucks-- it's messing up my whole coffee ritual.Everything seems yuck.
poster:Tabitha
thread:237149
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030617/msgs/237149.html