Posted by cybercafe on June 22, 2003, at 19:49:02
In reply to Re: filling prescriptions, posted by giget on June 17, 2003, at 15:09:22
> I was never embarassed to get my meds, I have been on everything from UI meds, bc, vicodin, ad's... some at the same time. I say my name proudly and tell them exactly what perscription I need. If they have a problem with me... I just look at them like they are the crazy person... or smerk and think to myself that they are probably afraid of me. I think it is funny.
Seriously, before I *knew* i was 'crazy', I used to think depression was "cool". Those guys are so cool... so elite.. so aloof.. nothing seems to impress them. Or when I was high i thought "man, life is too easy, i wish i had some real problems like drug addiction or depression to deal with so I could say i've been through something. Really lived. Really overcome".
I used to be embarassed, but that was part of my disorder. Now I look at it like this:
Fact. We know what it's like to be normal. To be sane. To be insane. To be happy. To be sad. To be *really* depressed. To be *really* anxious. To be *really* manic. And have probably done more things than the average joe could dream of. We have experienced more of life. We are the experts. We have the knowledge. They don't. We fully understand "normal". We've been there. They have no clue of mania. Real depression. Real anxiety.
We have faced *real* challenges. How do you measure challenges? I'd say if you want to die you are probably carrying more burden than those who do not. Who do I respect more than us? Perhaps people who have been tortured or are enduring terminal illnesses with physical pain + depression. (Fortunately, many of us have some chance of coming out of our struggle without a scar.) But not only do we endure incredible pain (guys, I do martial arts and I feel like i have the authority to say mental anguish is far worse than a happy go lucky fellow enduring physical pain), but we go through suffering without understanding or help from society. Hostility, fear, profound arrogance. Getting destructive advice from friends "you don't need meds, you're ok" or "meds are for the weak". Often having to educate ourselves. Major problems, all too common, with docs that are too busy, apathetic, or lacking knowledge.
Guys if you can face these enormous challenges and through strength/endurance, aggressiveness, intelligence, finally come out okay -- how do you compare to someone who has just had an easy life and never faced anything? I think it's pretty obvious that YOU ARE TOUGHER, YOU HAVE MORE CHARACTER, YOU ARE MOST CERTAINLY WISER.