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Re: Well, I told him » Dinah

Posted by shar on June 14, 2003, at 19:19:47

In reply to Well, I told him, posted by Dinah on June 14, 2003, at 11:40:17

I'm glad that you broke the silence, even though you got a response from him that was not very supportive. And, I love how you told him his anger was counterproductive--SO TRUE and well said, and it leaves the ball in his court.

I'm with the others who say not saying everything is ok. Too many people don't understand, and it only freaks them out; since you have a good therapist with whom you can be honest, and the folks here, your spouse probably has been given enough info. (As evidenced by the fact that he couldn't even be very loving toward you with what you told him.)

Shar


> I wasn't foolish enough to tell him about the ideation. But when he asked me if I was ok when he found me in bed with the covers over my head again, I admitted that no, I wasn't. I told him my fears that I was sliding into another depression like after giving birth. But emphasized that I might just be afraid of that, that it might not be true. It might pass.
>
> He got angry of course. A sort of Oh no, not again, anger. A sort of helpless to do anything anger. I've only had one bout of serious depression in the over ten years we've been married, but he sure didn't like it. He let me know that I was still expected to do my wifely duties (not sex, the housewifely duties). But he also told me that it wasn't exactly news. It had been obvious that something was wrong.
>
> I told him how his holding me at night was a help. And how getting angry with me was certainly his right, but was probably counterproductive to his goals. And we discussed all the stress I was under right now.
>
> Am I glad I told him? No, not particularly. But it didn't go as badly as I had feared. Probably because I didn't mention the ideations.


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