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Re: Crying in the bathroom « Eddie Sylvano » WorryGirl

Posted by Eddie Sylvano on May 12, 2003, at 10:12:24

In reply to Re: Crying in the bathroom « Eddie Sylvano » Dr. Bob, posted by WorryGirl on May 12, 2003, at 9:12:45

> I understand completely; I am the same way. I think what separates us from many is that they don't seem to care if someone hates them. Some people even seem to thrive on it. Not me!
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I've always had a problem with wanting people to like me, and assuming they don't. I guess it's as simple as other people not liking me=proof that no one does. I present the same face to everyone, so if 10% of the people dislike me, the other 90% are just being nice?

> I have this unrealistic idea that if everyone were nice to everyone else we would all feel fulfilled and happy. Do you think that would happen? Would we be bored out of our minds?
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I think you're on to something. I posess no spirituality at all, but I firmly believe that everybody should ask the equivalent of WWJD in a given scenario. Sure, there are frankly evil people in the world, but most folks are just average, trying to get through the day, harried and insecure. Too often, when something upsets us we don't express the hurt it causes, but turn to anger instead. This does nothing to help the hurt, and only causes anger in return. Soon everybody's angry, when what we really all feel is pain. If we could only resist the reflexive lashing back and see the person in front of us as a victim of this snowball of protective defenses, maybe we could do something to make them happy instead. It's hard to be the "bigger" person in a situation and see past the immediacy of the current emotion to the deeper issues. There's some unoffical rule that seems to favor *power* and action over vulnerability, and that's the root of the problem. We don't see each other as vulnerable and feeling individuals, but as soldiers in a big power struggle (lay on the horn, snap at the fast food guy, shrug off the hobo). Maybe if someone just cried a little bit that next time the person in line behind them said something cross, the deeper truths of our feelings would have to be addressed, and the power struggle would seem petty and wrong.

>What if we could talk to anyone about anything and not be made to feel like a freak or loser?
> Is this what heaven will be like? I hope so (hee hee).
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Well, maybe. We could all certainly be nicer about how we deal with each other. It would be kind of weird to have everybody trying to chat with you about their personal issues. Maybe everybody who wanted to talk could wear smiley face buttons or something, and they could all approach each other knowing that they both want to chat. Maybe everybody just needs to be drugged enough to drop their social guard. I don't think we'll ever get that far.


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