Posted by noa on May 1, 2003, at 19:19:51
In reply to Re: Hi, all(from me too!), posted by daizy on May 1, 2003, at 15:22:55
Hi, all.
I'm here, and have done some posting today. The reading here has been amazing. It is hard to catch up on everything. So much happens so quickly. And this past week, there has been some amazing writing and disclosures, etc. I am touched by it all.
Mom is getting a bit better each day, but with some set backs here and there. Now she is having second thoughts about the operation, as her regular osteo doc came back from vacation and is recommending against it, or at least to delay a bit. She isn't saying no to it altogether, and in fact got permission from my mom to talk to the surgeon to check some things out about it. It is just that she hasn't seen it that successful in her other patients who got it.
In the meantime, I learned the reason the Fosomax failed her after all these successful years. Apparently, it is found to be successful for about 5 years, maybe six. It starts losing effectiveness at that point for whatever reason (boy this sounds familiar to many of us, no?). But apparently there are some new meds coming out. Mom spoke with the son of a family friend whom she just learned works for Lilly and specializes in osteoporosis meds. He explained where things were with new meds and different options she might have. That would hopefully help protect against further fractures.
The doctor has encourage mom to take her pain med more consistently (as I have done) and mom seems to be complying. She is also now getting physiotherapy.
One day at a time.
Thanks for all the kind thoughts and prayers.
On other fronts.....work has been bearable, but I have been feeling tense and pissy there. My friend is handling this amazingly well. I am still very angry. I have to meet with the bosses Monday to say whether I'm taking the position they offered. I guess I am, as I am not situated to just leave without another job lined up, but I think I'll still look for other options as well. But I have some issues to work out with them. We'll see how that goes.
I am now very untrusting at work--I only trust the two colleagues that were in this mess with me. One, of course, will be leaving at the end of the fiscal/contract year (July 1). That leaves the other colleague and me. I am trying to train myself to be wary of even people I like very much and have trusted in the past. Even if I don't have any specific reason to think they have done anything untrustworthy, I am being wary. Such is the environment there now.
I am not so good at separating my thinking and feeling selves. And work is a social environment for me. I tend to be very open, too much so, I now see. So it is hard to learn how to be a good, friendly coworker but not lose the wariness, ie, keep my cards very close in. And it is hard to separate my anger at the decisions made from my need to work with these people. It is both professional AND personal for me. Work is very personal for me. It has always been that way with me. It is a big part of my life. I spend a lot of time there. I develop friendships, always, through work. Most of my friends are from various work experiences in my life. And I am someone who thinks out loud. I like to be able to trust people in this process--where I can think out loud with them, including my honest thoughts about how I feel. But I need to learn, and find myself working at it, to be more discreet and circumspect, to have tighter boundaries. It is for my protection. I have been too trusting.
How sad, no?
poster:noa
thread:223473
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030426/msgs/223711.html