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Re: maybe i ruining myself (A Wellbutrin Story) noa

Posted by leeran on April 24, 2003, at 10:03:08

In reply to Re: maybe i ruining myself (A Wellbutrin Story) leeran, posted by noa on April 24, 2003, at 7:15:12

Isn't it great? I sure wish I could claim it. I particularly like it because the author uses the black cloud metaphor, which as always been my name for the demon.

Since I've seen it on numerous websites I'm going to assume that it's okay to copy and paste it here.


5. Most dangerous - your mind speed will increase. Your mind will race at what seems like 200 miles per hour. Depressed people often tell their doctor "I can't get my mind to stop!" The minute you wake up in the morning - it will start up. Your brain will then turn against you. It will reach in your memory and pull out every bad memory it can find - abuse as a child, failed relationships, etc. - anything to make you feel bad and especially guilty. You will be tortured by your own thoughts.

6. As your mind speed picks up, the "garbage truck" will arrive. While the brain is already torturing you with the past, it will create/invent new ideas/thoughts to torture you. In every case of depression, if the depression stays long enough, you will receive the same "garbage" thoughts from your mind. You will be told:

- you are a burden to your family/friends
- you have failed/disappointed your family
- no one really cares about you
- your children would be better raised by someone else
- your family would be better off without you
- your spouse would be better off without you
- you are going crazy and there's no hope
- it would be better if you weren't around
- you would be better off dead
- you should probably kill yourself

If you're depressed - then you already know about the garbage truck. It's almost impossible to explain this part, and the excessive mind speed, to someone who has never been seriously depressed. If your depression goes untreated, this constant "garbage" will totally destroy your self-confidence. Try as you may, you will be unable to control this part of depression.

7. As part of the "garbage truck", your mind will try to make you as uncomfortable as possible. You may be flooded with thoughts of violence (against yourself and others), you'll think you are condemned by God, or you'll think you deserve this condition for some reason. Your garbage will also tell you that if you seek professional help (physician, psychologist, psychiatrist, etc.) that you'll be committed to an institution forever.

8. When depressed, your brain begins running a mental "video tape" of your worst hits/experiences. If married, a mental tape of the marriage is played daily, only focusing on the worst experiences. If you are young, you will suddenly become preoccupied with your upbringing, who got the best gym shoes, the favorite child, the car you never received. Frequent if not constant thoughts and preoccupations about past problems and issues is a common sign of depression.

In short, depression is a neurochemical reaction to severe and prolonged stress, either suddenly surfacing or gradually creeping up on you over a period of many months. The treatment for this dark cloud is much easier than you think. In short, depression is a neurochemical reaction to severe and prolonged stress, either suddenly surfacing or gradually creeping up on you over a period of many months. The treatment for this dark cloud is much easier than you think.


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