Posted by sienna on April 3, 2003, at 14:11:14
In reply to miserable, don't know what to do!!, posted by mmcasey on April 3, 2003, at 11:42:11
Hi wanted to say some more.
Also, i am 28 and i have had depression on and off for since as long as i can remmeber.
it is worse at times and better at times. I feel much better than i did 5 years ago if that helps any. You can too. There are rules around your parents finding out you are in a hopsital. I found that it helped if my parents knwe a little of what is going on with me but i tell them very litte.The hopsital experience is frightening if youve never been there, but it is really not that bad. If you think it will keep you safe or help you stabilize i would try it. However there are other things. I was in an intensive outpatient program the last two weeks nad it really helped. You just go there a few days a week for group therapy and other therapy, and it helps to have the routine and stabilization.
I felt i had nothing in common with people there at first but then realized we did have lots in common and now i feel very comfortable with the people and even exchanged some phone numbers. This might be a good thing to research and see if it can hlep you.
Are you in contact with your psychiartist on a regular basis? I wouldsay that if your sympotms are so prominent right now and your meds not helping so much yet, you would probably want to be in contact at leat every couple weeks and by phone more oftgen intul you can get this straightened out.
You deserve to feel better and get the suport you need, and youcan , just try to be very proactive and do like you are doing here asking questions and makeing steps to feel better.sienna
> This is my situation.... Well, I'm depressed. It seems to be going downhill, although this is not infrequent. I was doing "better" for about a month in March,
> but the past week or so has gotten worse.
> My suicidal thoughts have returned with full force. And thoughts about how can I stand the rest of my life. I just don't really know what to do. I have
> been struggling for a number of years, at least 5 that I could probably have been diagnosed with clinical depression, but really much longer than that. I am only 24, and
> I do not feel that my life is worthless or anything. I actually feel fairly successful in my life so far. But I just don't know if I
> can stand the misery!!!! Sometimes it feels so hard to live through every single second. I don't enjoy much of anything,
> I feel restless and unable to really focus on much (for example, I can no longer read books or even watch tv/movies much because I just feel
> unable to become engaged). These symptoms are new, have lasted for the past 3 months or so. I have tried about 5 medications with zero success. I've had lots of different
> therapists. I had yet another conversation with my therapist yesterday about "if I feel that I can keep myself safe". I know I have to say yes
> or else I'll be hospitalized, which is something that I fear tremendously. I am always very honest with my therapist, and she trusts me.
> I have seriously been considering going voluntarily into the hospital recently. But I am afraid that it will f**k up my life more than help anything.
> I mean, what can they really do? Plus, I can NOT go to my local hospital because
> I work in research in psychiatry and I know a number of the staff and faculty, so I'd have to go somewhere else.
> Also, there is the concern about money/insurance and my family finding out about my dire predicament, which they are somewhat unaware of.
> I just don't know what to do, and it feels like such a losing battle, trying to get through each day,
> and worrying that my entire life will be this way and I'll never be truly happy or even okay.
>
> Does anyone have any suggestions/support/advice/anything??
>
> Thanks.
poster:sienna
thread:215785
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030401/msgs/215837.html