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why do I do this????

Posted by lostsailor on March 22, 2003, at 10:07:01

Why? Why is it that in times of need I close up and vanish. I have poked around the posts regularly but feel I have nothing to add or say, except for my cheesy poem the other day.

Many of you have become “friends” and I don’t want anyone to think I don’t care. I do deeply. Honest.

I recently started to have waves of panic again and some depression. Doc switched me lexapro to paxil CR and I feel mindless and numb. I don’t know if it’s the med change or my symptoms running their course. Perhaps it’s a bit of both.

When I read some of your posts, I feel I have nothing good to add. I want to be supportive but feel insecure and miniscule right now. I don’t know if what I’ll add will just worsen some of the problems you/anyone here is going thru.

God I hate my anxiety, depression and most of all the 12 pills or so a swallow a day. I miss my “real life” friends, which I have totally withdrawn from to the point of becoming almost an urban legend. The only ones I have managed to keep must work at being around for me, but they do it, as I do for them in my own way. I know I pester them with questions of who’s doing what in my old social circle and they are often inundated with questions about me.

Thank you all and God bless.

~tony


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poster:lostsailor thread:211396
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030322/msgs/211396.html