Posted by Alara on March 11, 2003, at 3:27:24
In reply to Re: bullies » Alara, posted by beardedlady on March 10, 2003, at 7:57:53
lol. Thanks Beardy. :-) I like the idea of throwing plates. The truth is that I did ignore the bullying behaviour for several weeks. I simply continued to be friendly with everyone as if nothing was going on. But the rage started boiling within me when I realised that I was treating this girl with a respect that was not reciprocating. As she has been in the company for longer, it was almost as though there was an unwritten rule: I was required to be `nice' to her whereas she had established herself socially, which meant that she could treat me however she wanted.It's funny that you should mention diaries, bluedog. Another colleague of mine approached me about this girl and her cohort today. It turns out this colleague (who is also new and capable) has been getting exactly the same kind of treatment...We are going to keep personal records of events as they occur, because this bully is likely to turn things around at her convenience. (She appears to lack a moral backbone.)
Jay, thanks for the URL links. I didn't know that `bullying' was an apt term for what I was experiencing but now I know that I haven't been over-reacting.
It's rather ironic: I foolishly believed that I had left peer bullying behind in year 7 at school..In reality, adults can be even more vicious than children!
Pax, I think I may also take your advice and stand up to this insensitive person next time she vicimises me (or anyone else). Being nice just seems to perpetuate the problem. Noa was spot on: "I have had to "harden" myself and not react with so much hurt to certain things from certain co-workers. It is hard to do. And I had to learn the hard way, by going back for more and more until I realized the person won't change, I just have to get more savvy. Very hard to do, but necessary sometimes."On a more philosophical note, I must admit that sometimes I do feel very disappointed in human nature. Maybe bullies are just protecting themselves from insecurity. But why do they have to resort to this kind of defence? When I feel insecure, I look for friendship and reassurance. If others feel insecure, I work hard to comfort them and to foster their self-esteem. As a human being, I have many faults. But I'll never be able to understand the senseless cruelty of bullying.
poster:Alara
thread:207679
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030308/msgs/207977.html