Posted by jodie on January 26, 2003, at 19:54:30
This is a subject I've been dealing with for quite some time now. I am divorced, have an 8 year old son. He lives with his father. I have joint legal custody. When I divorced 3.5 years ago, my ex and I agreed it would be in the best interest of our son to live with his father. I have my every other weekend visitation, and once through the week for four hours. I was having emotional problems of my own at the time of divorce, so thats one of the reasons he lives with his father.
I'm explaining all of that because I always feel I have to. I am the mother. People always assume I should be the custodial parent, and if not, I must be a horrible mom. My family (mother, father, aunts, uncles, siblings, you name it) think I am a horrible person for signing over custody rights. I still have say so to his education, medical, and all other important things in his life. I pay child support. My son knows I love him very much. Him and I have a wonderful relationship.
About 2 years ago, my son was diagnosed with ADHD. He has tried Dexedrine, Adderall, and now on Ritalin and Clonodine. I agree with the diagnosis. I agree with the medication. None of my family does. My mother has read and heard horrible stories about these meds. She doesn't believe he has ADHD, and thinks the medicine is going to eventually kill him, literally. She thinks I am going along with his father in that we are trying to find a "babysitter in a pill". She thinks all of his behaviors are normal, we are just being lazy instead of taking control of him w/o meds. I hear this all of the time from others in my family too. They cannot believe I continue to let my ex keep him on these medications.Sorry if I am just babbling on and on. I am just frustrated right now. Am I so bad for having my son on Ritalin? He has had more than one opinion & tests from pdocs. They all believe he has ADHD. Of course all I hear from my family is that the diagnosis is just an excuse to be lazy, and careless, and it is way over-diagnosed. Maybe the last part is true in some cases. But not in this one.
I myself was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder over a year ago. Of course, according to my family that was all an excuse, just a disorder to blame all of my bad decisions in life on. Of course I had these problems when I was younger. My parents would never find help. They just called me a problem child, and worthless. I am now being told I have ADD instead of bipolar. I haven't even told my parents this. Don't even think I will. I'm 26, almost 27, so no need for them to know, especially since they are not supportive at all.
I am engaged right now, my fiance's parents are very supportive, with my condition, and my sons. But why are so many people so against children (and adults) taking stimulants if it works? Why am I so looked down upon? Am I possibly a bad mom for letting my son take these meds? Maybe I am hurting him in the long run.
Does anyone else have these problems with others treating you indecent for putting a child on stimulants? Am I the only one with this problem. I've been told, who cares what others think. It is your son, you can make those decisions for yourself. I just have always been very influenced by my parents, especially my mothers, beliefs, or opinions. It is driving me insane. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I tend to not talk about these things, not even to my therapist. So I don't know who else to ask.
Sorry this is such a long post. Thanks for taking time and reading it. It helped me to relieve some anger!!!
Jodie
poster:jodie
thread:35827
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030120/msgs/35827.html