Posted by jay on January 13, 2003, at 15:57:28
I wonder if *this* means anything...but I've learn't to take nothing for granted in my decades of suffering the worst of this 'illness'. (Like we all have.)Today, as I am driving down by this pond where I used to skate when I was a little guy, and it is in full winter-dreamscape view mode, and I've got a beautiful piece of music just cranked on the car cd player, I am deeply *touched* and *moved* by the scenery. (The music helped too.)
I think to myself..."Man...when was *the* last time I felt that???" So, my 'little baby soul' (this, sometimes cranky and whiney, but sweet and tender little female infant inside me..kinda like my 'female' inner child) is *responding* to this strange, but sometimes beautiful new world around her. No tears; no shouts of anger and pain; just a bit of a small *gasp*...and a tiny smile that lights up my heart.
I've also realized...these are the *things* to erase the tools of depression and anxiety. The medications do their little bit...BUT..this is, 100 percent, ME.
So...tommorow...I am gonna take my 'little baby soul' out for a ride again. How do you soothe a cranky infant? Take them out for a ride...
Peace...
~Jay (and the 'little one':-)
poster:jay
thread:35179
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030111/msgs/35179.html