Posted by Mikhail99 on December 20, 2002, at 10:53:56
In reply to Guilt for not spending time with Family, posted by BlackSheep on December 20, 2002, at 9:53:18
> I'm feeling very guilty and selfish for not seeing my family over the holidays.
>
> I live over an hour away from one sibling and 2 hours away from and another and I'm the only one with a full-time 12-month a year job. When the weekends roll around I want to be home to do my thing and often turn down parties and such. I know I'm a terrible Aunt 'cause I don't see my neices and nephews much at all. However, they usually come with their parents, one set of whom, I don't care for much at all anymore. They don't like me either.
>
> They don't understand my social phobia, my wacky sleep patterns ("Why are you going now, it's still early?"), depression, crying spells, etc. I find it best to just stay away so I don't create waves or make a scene. Our views on entirely different, also.
>
> My News Years Resolution is to keep my opposing views of important issues to myself but it's difficult for me, as I feel so strongly about them, and am quite active in them in my life.
>
> Also, some of my siblings are aware of a past molestation made by a family member by marriage, but they seem to think that I should be over that. They have not explicity said that but that's my impression. I wish I WAS over it as it happened so MANY years ago, but I'm having more flashbacks lately and the priest scandals in the news just remind me about it over and over again.
> My situation was by no means as horrbible as what some of those victims experienced, but if someone touches/gropes your privates, esp. when you're a minor, and the perp is a spouse of a sibling (who was in the other room!), that is wrong, right?
>
> I guess I'm just venting. I just feel like the BlackSheep of the family. I the only one that doesn't have kids, the only one who doesn't do or look forward to all those family get-togethers, esp. at the holidays. This holiday is esp. tough for me.
>
> BlackSheepBlackSheep, Isn't it a crime that we can't pick our families? Don't feel guilty about not seeing them! Don't you have enough to deal with without subjecting yourself to people who don't have your best interests at heart? And I can't stand it when someone else decides when someone should be "over" something. How presumptuous and aggravating is that??? And why would you want to keep your opinions to yourself? Particularly if it's stuff you're active with and feel very strongly about? That makes you informed and passionate and you shouldn't deny it.
It sounds like you could use a nice quiet holiday, please do something nice for yourself that day and be at peace.
Take care!
poster:Mikhail99
thread:33690
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021218/msgs/33693.html