Posted by bluedog on December 19, 2002, at 9:37:38
Hi Iso
I'm in real trouble at the moment . As you know I returned to work on Monday and I am sinking extremely rapidly back into a very dark and severe depression. I don't know what is wrong with me!!! My brain simply refuses to work properly and I simply sit at my desk for hours in a trance staring at the computer screen. I can hear people giving me instructions but they don't register. I can't understand it. Just last Friday I was quite positive about my return to work and thought that I had my mental illness under complete control and that I would cope without too many hassles.
I was late for work this morning and the HR manager was a complete and utter bastard towards me about this. (by the way I was only 15 minutes late). I attempted to explain to him that I was just recovering from a serious illness and that the first two days back at work had taken a lot more out of me of me than I had anticipated. He merely said that he considered this to be a poor excuse on my part and he stated that he could not understand my reasoning. He told me that I should have been completely rested from Monday and Tuesday because I had just had Wednesday off work (on the recommendation of my PDoc) and that he intended to dock my pay for the 15 minutes I was late. He then added that he considerered me to have been very rude and inconsiderate for not giving my manager a courtesy call to say that I was going to be 15 minutes late. Believe me when I tell you that I am not a rude person and in fact will go out of my way not to offend people, even at my own expense.
I tried to explain that I have only just recovered from a major depression and being my first week back after 4 months that my coming in late was only a temporary matter while I adjusted to having to concentrate fully for an 8 hour period each day without my regular afternoon naps, but he truly doesn't care about this.
What I just don't get is the complete insensitivity of this person. I mean he has a detailed report from my psychiatrist on my condition but he literally told me that he doesn't care what my illness is and that his only concern is that I fully undertake my obligations to my employer within the constraints of my PDoc's report to my employer.
It's ridiculous because my psychiatrist's report clearly states that I need to be eased back into work and that initially I should be "cut some slack" while my system re-adjusts to full time work. I know my management absolutely resents the fact that my psychiatrist has only certified me fit for a MAXIMUM of 4 days per week and can't stand the fact that they can't legally make me work any longer than what my psychiatrist certifies me as fit to undertake. Yet they keep telling me how many concessions thay are making for me and how they are going out of their way and bending over backwards to accommodate my needs. They have not mentioned once that what thay are doing is not such a big favour as they make out but is in fact a LEGAL obligation on their part. They must think I'm stupid or something (actually I am stupid at the moment and my brain is clouded in a hazy, fog that won't lift)
My HR manager has absolutely zero understanding about depression and it's effects and is in complete denial about the whole matter. By the way this very same HR manager went out of his way to accomodate the medical needs of another staff member who had recently undergone a major surgical procedure.
My question for you Iso is that not so long ago you gave me some links to websites that contained useful information on depression targeted at HR managers and how HR managers can better understand and deal with enployees suffering from depression. Unfortunately I can't seem to find these links as I wish to print out some information to give to my HR manager to provide him with an education of soughts about depression in the workplace and I was wondering if you could please repost some of these links?
I have not dared to tell my employer that I am relapsing very quickly back into my major depression. I only have Friday left to get through and then will have the weekend to try and recover and regain my spirits!
THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH
Warm regards
bluedog
poster:bluedog
thread:33631
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021218/msgs/33631.html