Posted by WorryGirl on December 13, 2002, at 14:40:19
In reply to Re: On anger... » Dinah, posted by Eddie Sylvano on December 11, 2002, at 14:28:57
Hi Eddie,
I'm sorry that you have been through a divorce. I was wondering if your ex wife had a personality opposite of yours or was she a lot like you? Sometimes people are drawn to people who are their emotional polar opposites. With my first husband this dynamic never worked, but surprisingly it does with my current husband. Of course, maturity plays a huge role and some people never quite master that one.With my divorce, I tried countless times to communicate my unhappiness in the marriage and it was like talking to a brick wall. He was in denial and seemed to think it was all in my head. He refused to take me seriously. Unfortunately the only way he could was when I actually left. At that point I felt such relief that nothing could have made me go back. Looking back, I feel that I was quite the coward in the way that I handled everything (basically I just fled). Fortunately, it ended up being the best decision, because I never would've found my current husband otherwise.
You say that you don't know if the divorce played a part in your depression (being unable to feel). I wonder if she sensed things were going wrong with you sometime before and simply said nothing. Instead, when she felt you closing off, she turned to your best friend (which is still inexcusable in my book - a double betrayal).
Do you think you would feel better if you let her know just how she's made you feel. I wonder if writing her a letter (even if you never send it) might relieve some of your bottled up feelings. I used this exercise with my ex-boyfriend and while I will always feel some resentment (he hurt me in some ways that are irreparable) it seemed to remove a lot of the demons.
That might be a step toward you being able to feel again (maybe?). You seem like someone with so much to offer.
poster:WorryGirl
thread:33113
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33312.html