Posted by Eddie Sylvano on December 11, 2002, at 11:15:43
In reply to Re: On anger... » Eddie Sylvano, posted by Dinah on December 11, 2002, at 10:19:09
> I see the emotional divorce as being a totally different phenomenon as the distance between my emotional self and my logical self. The former is a self protective mechanism that relates to certain people.
---------------------That makes sense. I can see where I've probably done things like that as well. I remeber going to court for my divorce and feeling absolutely nothing (even joked with the judge), saying goodbye to my new ex, shaking hands and walking away cavalierly. I had redefined my wife internally in a way that allowed for me to be dispassionate about it. Four months later I was crying on the floor on my shower, in prelude to a dehumanizing, year long depression.
> I've come a long way in therapy with the emotional separation. When I first went into therapy, my therapist thought that I was schizotypal due in part to my flat affect. He thought my range of emotion was extremely limited. Now he says he would never come to the same conclusion.
---------I've had that same concern about myself. Aside from the lack of emotions, I also don't have the desire to make friends or talk to my family. Very much a loner. Glad to hear he doesn't define you that way.
> Have you done therapy for this specific purpose? It took a long time to access that level of my being, and it still disappears from time to time
-------------------I probably should. I tried talking about it with one counselor I went to, but I don't think that I ever really got my point across to him. He mainly focused on the idea that I was socially phobic (which I was). I think that because I come across so sedate and studied, therapists tend to assume that I'm pretty much normal, with just a bit of neuroticism or something. It's difficult to describe how unusual and off I often feel, and that combined with my news-anchor like delivery doesn't convey the real frustration I feel.
> By the way, my fear of anger is also pathological, as are all my reactions to anger. :(
------------------Yeah. I can't handle anyone getting angry at me, or around me. Makes me very uncomfortable. I also can't express anger in any useful way. I either sulk and am quiet (90% of the time), or punch myself while shouting (10%). Nobody's buying my anger management book.
poster:Eddie Sylvano
thread:33113
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33215.html