Posted by Mr Cushing on December 10, 2002, at 17:51:13
In reply to alive, posted by tina on December 10, 2002, at 14:25:54
Tina, even though I don't know you very well, you need to realize that suicide is a permanent solution to a short term problem. Not only can you not take it back once you've accomplished it, but you'll also be spreading your pain around on just about everybody else in your life. Most of these people on the board are already panicking because they think they're about to lose you. If you have this kind of affect on people over the "net", think about all of those that will suffer that are close to you in the real-world. You won't necessarily be getting rid of the pain that you're going through, you'll just be passing it on to everybody that cares about you.Just think of a second about somebody that you love. Husband, friend, family member, etc. whomever. And think about what would happen to you if something like what you're thinking about happened to them. You'll be affecting them in the same way and you can't just expect them to be able to go on with their lives and forget about you. Being Bi-Polar is definitely a curse if you allow it to become one, but you can also use it as a gift once you've learned to control it. I'm kind of going through that right now by myself.
The main thing though is that you have to fight this. You've made it this far in life dealing with this disorder so you've already proved that you're a survivor. You just need to dig down deep into your inner core and find that one piece of you that still wants to live and try to bring that part of you to the surface.
Once you're able to accomplish that, I would tell either my Doctor or somebody else whom I trusted exactly what was going on. Suicidal thoughts are simply a part of our disorder. However, there are medications that will take that part away from you relatively easily. When I came off of Effexor, just to see how well my MS was working and what would happen (I'm too curious), I found myself spinning down into a depression and thinking to myself how much easier it would be to just be dead. I told my Doctor and she gave me some Celexa and the next day I felt quite a bit better. There has to be something out there that will work the same with you. That will stop the thoughts but it will still be quite the battle to get back to where you want to be. However, you can just look at this board and see that there's like a dozen people that are all willing to fight it with you. I'm willing to bet that you've got quite a few people on the outside too that are willing to do just about anything for you.
And if you're doubting whether or not you still want to live... just think that you just posted today a notice letting people know that you were still alive. Why? Most likely because you realized that you were causing quite the commotion on this board. You care about these people and don't want them worrying about you. That's coming from that part of you that still wants to live. Otherwise, why would you care what a bunch of other people thought? You need to focus on that part of you and bring it to the surface long enough to take the appropriate action to get yourself better. And as soon as you're willing and ready to get back into the battle, you know that there's going to be a lot of people fighting with and for you.
poster:Mr Cushing
thread:33170
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33184.html