Posted by Anna Laura on December 7, 2002, at 7:03:16
DEATH CAN WAIT
Tina
I just got out from a suicidal period (that's why i didn't post about the issue).
I know that death can be like a door, a hidden door that stands in the shadow and you didn't notice before.And you want to open it, leaving all he chaos and pain behind;
I didn't want to hear phrases like: "AAAHHH! Call your pdoc" or "You'll feel better, you see" or worse: "Life can be O.K. with depression".
I just wanted to sleep endlessly not to be awake, not to think. That's what i did actually; i just slept.
The only reason why i didn't kill myself is that i've come to realize that life is short; life is so short that i could be waiting a little longer, it wouldn't make any difference.
We all die at the end, sooner or later. Death is not a selective illness that hit someone and spare others. We'll all be dead one day.
And ten years can pass away in a minute: it's just a matter of time perception.So i decided to keep on going just to have the last kiss, the last taste from life; didn't want to die defeated, lifeless, meaningless. May be other days will rise, out of this permanent night; but i want to see dawn rising one more time, my body as a whole, want to make love again, want to laugh again, want to feel strong again, i want to see that soft white light embracing everything again and sensing all the smells, feelings and emotions i have forgotten: Death can wait.
poster:Anna Laura
thread:33044
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021206/msgs/33044.html